This is a picture of the room in the house where I do my creative work. Messy isn't it? There's a lot going on in there. I know I'm lucky to have a whole room to myself for projects -- a room of my own. (Virginia Wolf would approve.) Although my just-begun, partially-complete and not-yet-really-started projects aren't contained within this room, they spill over into just about every part of the house (particularly the "dining" room). I'm actually a pretty organized person -- I make great lists, I can find things in my closets. But my mind is always at least a mile ahead of what's going on with the rest of me and my life and it's like I have to leave a little trail of partially materialized ideas in hopes that eventually all of me will catch up.
Most people can probably relate to this at least to some extent; I think "project" people -- people who like to make things (paintings, music, food, novels, gardens, furniture, crafts . . . ) can relate a lot. Even a person who's basically organized and almost a neat freak can find it hard to contain the creative drive into one designated space. I think that I've tried to do that a bit too much in my life only to end up frustrated, flummoxed looking around me thinking "what is this mess?" I've been trying to work more toward integration, to acknowledge that this part of myself is as valid as any other and I'll only benefit by giving it the space it needs. I took a step a few years ago when I broke through my inhibition and actually started calling myself an artist.
This blog is another big step for me. I didn't even really know what a blog was until the summer of 2013 when I was buying Miss Mustard Seed Milk Paint for a project (that I actually completed) and the young woman behind the counter suggested checking out the tutorials on Miss Mustart Seed's "blog". One blog led to another and I was amazed -- here is this whole world of project people, of makers putting themselves out there in posts that say "this is who I am and this is what I do". They have the tremendous satisfaction of just acknowledging one another, with the added benefit of documenting (for themselves at the very least) just how much they're really doing.
So I have gotten through my initial fear of acknowledging myself, to myself and committed to a creative life. Now I have to work through the fear of acknowledging myself to others, with the additional handicap of general technology incompetence. But it is definitely time to break through all the fear, the doubt, the related procrastination, the sense that I should just stuff all this in some back room of my life -- hit post and get started.
P.S. Does anyone in Raleigh know of a person in this general area who can work with me -- at a reasonable hourly rate -- to fine tune this website? Please post contact info in Comments. Thank you!